Don't Let the Beetles Get You Down

Dale Carnegie shares the story of Robert Moore who looked death straight in the face when serving on a submarine during World War II.  While being attacked for 15 hours, Moore's life flashed before his eyes and he remembered all the trivial worries he experienced over the years. As Moore said, "We often face the major disasters of life bravely - and then let the trifles, the 'pains in the neck,' get us down."  If we were to use a modern-day cliche to summarize this week's principle it would definitely be "Don't sweat the small stuff."

I was blessed to marry into a family that seems to have mastered this principle.  The Gifts (all of them!) are living, breathing examples of this lesson.  Case in point: we celebrated Tyler's 3rd birthday this weekend and my mother-in-law, Marilyn, made Tyler another beautiful cake.  The cake met all of Tyler's specifications:  a train, steam, the letter "T" and the number "3."  Unfortunately, the cake was not a fan of the car trip from Des Moines.  The "beetles" of many bumps in the road got it down a little.  Marilyn, although disappointed, went right to work when she arrived at our house!  With a little bit of water and a lot of patience, she resurrected Tyler's cake to its original glory!  She didn't miss a beat and Tyler's grin says it all!

I've learned a lot from the Gifts these past five years and I know I will learn many lessons to come.  Let us all find those people in our lives who help us be better versions of ourselves.  In my case, the Gift family reminds me of Dale Carnegie's words, "Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget.  Remember 'Life is too short to be little.'"  Instead, be a Gift!  :)

How to Crowd Worry Out of Your Mind

This week's principle doesn't qualify as "earth shattering."  It's common sense really -- but common sense that I practice far too little!  It's as simple this... stay busy to keep your worries away.   To quote Dale Carnegie, "it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time." Crowd worry out of your mind!

September is my busiest month at Lutz & Company because we are in the thick of on-campus recruiting season.  At the beginning of the week, I reviewed 125 resumes along with helping to conduct a new hire orientation and preparing for another orientation next week.  Then, I hopped on a plane for a conference in Dallas on Wednesday-Friday.  Needless to say, there wasn't much time to worry about the "before baby" to-do list or Alan's tenure process or anything else this week!

A quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson recently caught my attention: "Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day."  So true! I want my life to consist of productive work and spirited play -- not stress and worries.  How about you?  Together, let's keep busy this week and crowd the worry out of our minds!

"How to Eliminate Fifty Percent of Your Business Worries"

Dale Carnegie offers us yet another process for squelching our worries this week.  This one reminds me of my husband, the scientist, for some reason.  Could it be because Alan is the king of questions?!  Ultimately though, it was my mom who helped me "see the light" regarding this week's principle:
1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions of the problem?
4. What solution do you suggest?

The best example I have of using this process happened a couple weeks ago.  The problem and cause of the problem were simple... I was feeling completely overwhelmed by our to-do list that we need to finish before Baby arrives in mid-November (e.g., get Tyler settled into his new room, put the nursery back in place, finish our basement bedroom, etc).  As I had a meltdown (yes, even Dale Carnegie trainers have meltdowns from time to time, especially the hormonal ones!) on the phone with my mom one Saturday, she said something that struck me. "Marisa, why do you need to finish that bedroom before the baby arrives?  You can move the bed into the space, put some rugs down, and it will be absolutely fine."

My mom's comment triggered me to have a conversation with Alan about the possible solutions to the problem of being overwhelmed:
1. We could try to line up time for Alan and his family to finish the basement bedroom in the next few months (keep in mind that Alan was already back in classes, his dad was approaching harvest season, etc).
2. We could hire someone to finish the basement bedroom (a.k.a., moolah).
3. We could hold off on finishing the bedroom until next summer and just make it as nice as possible for the moment.

We opted for #3 and it is the best decision we've made in awile!  We bought a carpet remnant, moved all the furniture in, and even put a picture or two on the walls.  Granted, the room is still two-toned and the ceiling beams are exposed but it will certainly serve our guests well as we welcome the baby.

And the decision preserved my sanity... and therefore, Alan's sanity, too.

Thanks, Mom, for the suggestion!  Dale Carnegie would be proud!

How to Analyze and Solve Worry Problems

This week I found myself creating a trusty ol' pro-con list to weigh a decision facing our family.  I've always been a fan of these lists when difficult choices come my way and I have a feeling people have been using this method of analyzing their worries for a long, long time.  In fact, this week's worry principle from Dale Carnegie is just another version of the pro-con list in my eyes.  An oldie, but a goodie!
1. Get the facts
2. Analyze the facts
3. Arrive at a decision - and then act on that decision

Alan and I used this method to solve a toddler issue this week, too.  Tyler's bedtime has gotten progressively later over the summer and he has become an expert in stall tactics since moving into his "big boy bed" one month ago.  I finally reached my wit's end on Tuesday night so Alan and I sat down and created a bedtime schedule for Tyler once he was asleep. 
1. We gathered the facts: what needs to be done (bath, snack, teeth brushing, books, prayers, etc) and what is the ideal bedtime for Tyler (8:30)?
2. We analyzed the facts: how long does each of these activities take and how much "wiggle room" do we need for the inevitable diversions?
3. We arrived at a decision: the schedule is on paper!
4. We acted on that decision: We put the schedule into action the next night!

I am happy to report that Tyler has been in bed by 8:40 (much better than 9:00-9:30) for the past four nights since we initiated the new schedule.  This bedtime routine still isn't perfect but it's a huge improvement - and that's what these principles, and life, are all about!

The Price of Worry

We've all heard the numbers... Half of Americans report lying awake at night due to stress.  An estimated 15 tons of aspirin are consumed every day – that’s nearly a half million of those little bottles EVERY DAY. And workplace stress costs more than $300 billion each year in health care, missed work & stress reduction.

Dale Carnegie says that you must "Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.  'Those who do not know how to fight worry die young.'"

At 2:30 AM on Wednesday, I was awoken by Tyler, my almost three-year-old son.  He came bounding into our room, awake as can be!  After trying everything to get him to stay in bed, my husband graciously offered to sleep on the floor next to his bed.  As my boys fell back to sleep, I began to worry. Thoughts floated through my head: "Why did Tyler wake up?  Is his cold getting worse again?  Is he getting that stomach bug that is going around at daycare?  What's wrong?" 
Then, I remembered this week's worry principle and did my best to calm the voices in my head.  Marisa, remember the price of worry.  I soon joined Tyler and Alan in the wonderful world of sleepiness.

To paraphrase someone wise and humorous, "Our worrying obviously works because nine out of ten things that we worry about never happen!"  Join me this week in an endeavor to switch the worry button to the "off" position!  Let's be in the half of Americans that DO sleep!

The goal: let's all sleep soundly like Tyler this week!