Sunday, January 22, 2012

#3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Towards the middle of this week, I told a friend that Principle #3 was kicking my butt!  Nobody said this was going to be easy, right?  I am working on a proposal right now at work that would bring more “soft skills” training to our accounting firm.  As is normal in the business world, we are working within a monetary budget and time constraints.  With Principle #3 in mind, I decided that a good starting point would be to review employees’ evaluations to see how soft skills could help address challenge areas in their performance.  If Dale Carnegie is right, showing how soft skills training can directly help these employees’ performance will go a long way in achieving “buy in” from firm leaders. 
Only time will tell if this project has successful results but I did have proof this week that Principle #3 can work magic.  My friends, Dmitriy and Cameron, do marketing for the Dale Carnegie franchise in Boston.  They recently posted a video on their blog that showcases several of these principles.  This isn’t a stuffy video with a professor espousing “the principles” – instead, the main character is a bear!  Tyler, my two-year old, cannot get enough of this video. Tyler watched it at least a dozen times on Wednesday and exclaimed “BEAR” almost immediately after waking up on Thursday morning.  He’s hooked!  I’m guessing Ty could care less about Dale Carnegie’s principles at this point but a bear… now that’s something he wants to see!

So my slow-moving work project made me realize that these principles aren’t always going to work over night (unlike Tyler’s bear fetish!).   And that’s okay. I’m quickly learning that Dale Carnegie was right once again… these principles aren’t about getting my way all the time.  They’re about building better relationships… and they will work.  Just look at Tyler.  A few days ago, Dale Carnegie was just a guy who took Mommy away on business trips.  Now Tyler is Dale’s #1 fan!  If these principles work for two year olds, they might just work for you and me.

p.s. In case you are interested, Tyler wanted me to pass along the bear video, too:  Bonus: you will get a sneak peek at weeks 5, 10, 13 and 20!

1 comment:

  1. What you're talking about here is the ability to be a person of influence. We talk of it often in the business world. You've observed those people who are able to persuade others to follow them. In the professional services world that I live in, we call them "Rainmakers." I'm not talking about cult leaders or dictators who persuade through manipulation, coercion or brutal force. A true influencer gains a following because of who they are and what they represent.
    Outside the business world, influence also plays its part - in relationships, parenting, volunteer work, etc. Charismatics are probably "born", but influence can be an "acquired skill" if you have desire and discipline. However, a true influencer, one that benefits mankind rather than manipulates it, is someone who has a strong moral compass. Once you've gained influence, you have an obligation to use your acquire skill for good, not evil. Everybody picks on Wall Street right now, but not without reason. There was a tremendous amount of influence in the investment banking world that served for destructive purposes. The mortgage meltdown that contributed greatly to the Financial Crisis and it's aftermath, stemmed from excessive greed and misplaced influence. #3 - It' a good one.