Sunday, April 8, 2012

#14: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.

We are now well into the group of principles that Dale Carnegie associated with "gaining cooperation" (#10-#21).  This week I experienced both the highs and lows of Principle #14.  On the down side, I participated in seven hours of webinar training this week for a new system we are implementing at the office.  Bright and early on Monday morning, the fun began with a four-hour session online!  The training was tough at times because the trainer chose to cover every single feature of the system whether we plan to use it or not.  In other words, we were not saying, "Yes, yes" and frustration, rather than cooperation, often resulted.

This experience early in the week solidified Carnegie's recommendation for me and I took it to heart.  When I approached a partner at our firm this week about the benefits of the Dale Carnegie course I participated in last week, I focused on what would most interest him ("Yes, yes!").  I realized that he would be interested in how to answer tough questions since he often faces these with clients and colleagues.  So I focused on the "Responding to Pressure Situations" portion of the training.  I also know that this partner has a desire to feel more comfortable speaking in front of others.  As a result, I focused on the easy-to-use presentation formats the class taught, as well as the individualized coaching.  The result?  The partner thought this course sounded, "AWESOME!"

As with all of these principles, #14 isn't 100% foolproof. Life with Tyler, my two-year old, is a good example of this fact.  I often try asking lots of questions that I know will receive an enthusiastic "yes" before I pose a tougher question (aka: a harder sell).  Tyler's answer to the tough question is almost always still an emphatic "NO!" 

There will always be "no's."  That's life.  But wouldn't it be great if we heard "yes" more often?  The answer starts with us!



  1. Marisa, great post, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it-proof that these are timeless principles! Looking forward to reading more.