Looking Back at 30 Principles in 30 Weeks

I would like to reflect on the past 30 weeks before embarking on the next set of 30 principles from "How to Stop Worrying & Start Living" next week.  As I think about the themes that have emerged from my experiment these past seven months, one major trend comes to mind: "Be Nice."  It's as simple as that.  Whether it's offering praise, apologizing quickly, or just smiling -- the principles from "How to Win Friends & Influence People" are all about being nice to one another.

This weekend I enjoyed celebrating my dear friend, Jesse's, wedding to her soulmate, Mosa.  Their beautiful ceremony included childhood stories from their parents. Jesse's mom and dad recounted how her fourth grade teacher asked the students to share something they liked about one of their classmates. In the teacher's 30 years of teaching, Jesse was the first student to come to the front of the classroom and say one nice thing about every one of her classmates. That beautiful spirit, that kindness, is an inspiration to everyone Jesse meets today.  I'm lucky to call Jesse a friend and to have her as a living, breathing example of the best Dale Carnegie has to offer.

This week I also spent time with the Gifts at their annual family camp in Minnesota. I was brought to tears by one man, Bryan Odeen, who shared a song he had written for his baby daughter called "Lessons for My Daughter."  The chorus struck a chord (literally!) in me:
"Learn to live wisely, learn to live kindly.
Learn to live loving the God who molded you.
Learn to be patient, learn to be gracious
And I will try to learn, too."

It was the last line that "hit home" the most... "And I will try to learn, too."  That's what these past 30 weeks have been to me.  I'm more confident than ever that our world is one big classroom and that life is one big lesson. Thanks for learning with me!

Alan and me celebrating with two kind souls who found each other - congrats Jesse & Mosa!

26: Let the other person save face

My parents visited on Friday afternoon and made us a fresh container of sun tea.  In the middle of my first glass, I told my mom how refreshing it tasted on such a hot day.  When I stepped inside for a minute, I found giant puddles of liquid covering our kitchen floor and I thought for sure our refrigerator had finally run its last leg.  But when I opened the fridge door, I saw that the entire container of sun tea was empty. The handle had somehow flipped into the "on" position - resulting in sun tea in every nook and cranny of the fridge as well as puddling up on the floor.  Ugh!  My mom and dad quickly started helping me sop up the damage with rags.  And my dad even commented on how those containers just aren't made well.  In other words, they both let me save face.  No operator error here - this was obviously the container's fault!

At work this week, my colleague, Katie, and I proactively worked to let our coworkers save face as well.  We helped to coordinate a panel of partners to share their thoughts on networking.  We asked the 50 attendees to come prepared with questions or send them to us in advance.  We received a whopping one person's questions beforehand (thanks to that individual - you know who you are!).  We were greeted with a lot of silence throughout the session when we asked if people had any questions.  Luckily, Katie and I had prepared a list of questions in advance to spark conversation.  As a result, the panelists had plenty to talk about and the attendees were on the receiving end of some helpful information.

When searching for an image to accompany this week's principle, I came across this sign about kindness.  I think it sums up all of Dale Carnegie's principles in addition to #26.  My prayers are with many people right now who are fighting some immense battles in their lives.  So the next time an entire container of sun tea lands on your floor, remember that someone is fighting a much harder battle at that exact moment.  This week let's let the other person save face.  Or put more simply, let's just remember to be kind to each other.